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What would you do, if you were in my shoes?

By Nilesh Gamit on 44 Comments / 7546 views

One fine Sunday morning, I received following email from one of our employee.

He is a fresh recruit and has completed 3 months at job. He has good educational background. He did well in interview & his verbal communication skills were impressive. So, the way he conveyed the message, gave me headache. After reading the email, I just want to hit my head against a wall 🙂

We don’t have complex HR policies and details of next appraisal were discussed clearly with him. So, instead of giving him any Gyan or scheduling any personal meeting, I just asked him to resign over email. Next day he didn’t show up & no further communication.

Why is it so difficult to communicate effectively? What would you do, if you were in my shoes?

Thank You
Nilesh Gamit, nilesh@lamp-technologies.com

Twitter: @nileshgamit

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44 Comments

  1. It’s good he is gone 🙂

    Learn from this, go back and rethink all the red flags that you missed (if any), keep them in your mind for next time and move on..It happens to all of us 🙂 

    Best

  2. Hi Nilesh,

    Kudos for reaching out and aiming to learn from this experience.It is intensely frustrating to receive such a note. However, I would have handled it differently. I would definitely call the person for a face to face meeting. Understand details of what they have received. When did they interview? What was the cause for looking for a job in the first place? Finally, help them understand that these conversations should never happen over email. This way, they get perceived differently. They did it for the first time with you which is fine but it is important for them to learn and grow. Leaving their boss with such a negative feeling is not a good thing for their career.I would then share how i could not match the salary or that “work” is not just about salary alone. Since that is a primary driver for this fresh recruit, it is best for them to take up that job. If the job profile is not good for their career, i would share that but leave the choice to them.

    Finally, everybody in this world can choose where they wish to spend their time.Your end result was right but i would have executed the steps differently. People fear uncomfortable conversations and hide behind email since it is asynchronous. Making them comfortable will help you learn far more on their thought process and psyche than an email ever can.

    You learn what you can fix or need to fix for the others. You also learn more about somebody and whom you need to avoid letting into the door in the first place. Hope that helps.

  3. I would probably have a short chat with him and make him understand that a raise in 3 months is not feasible and that he needs to stick around and learn rather than chase every offer he gets. Should have told him such people don’t really succeed and money isn’t everything. I know it must have been really annoying for you to receive this email and I might have reacted the same way too, but I’d still try and find time to have a short chat with this guy. 

  4. I can so much relate to this Nilesh. 

    Nevertheless, nobody can avoid such a situation. Though I feel changes to your HR policy can help you prevent such situations from recurring. This is what I have done over the last few years. Slowly and gradually, kept revising clauses in my offer letter (after learning from mistakes) to avoid such pitfalls. 

    1. Added a clause that anybody who leaves within 6 months of joining, shall not be given a relieving. I added this to all fresher hiring letters only. 

    2. 30 day notice is mandatory. Else no relieving and FnF. I have stuck to this with every employee, irrespective of seniority. This has led to some bad blood between me and some ex employees but the message to new ones is crystal clear. 

    3. During hiring, i categorically give out a reminder that I will be conducting a background check on your documents and your previous employments. If anything is amiss, you could be in trouble. This creates a sense among the person that their next employer will ALSO conduct a bg check! 

    Apart from this, I keep my staff motivated by having lunch sessions, outdoor sessions, movies, every once a while. This creates a bond and people feel compelled to not put me in a bad spot by leaving like this. 

    But I have clearly understood one thing after struggling with staff issues: employees work for money. period. So create a backup before somebody starts getting greedy for money (easier said than done); it is not right to give in to anybody’s demands and it sends the wrong message to the rest of the staff. 

  5. I’d be honest on this as I’ve experienced this several times:

    If the person is indispensable I’d have given him out-of-the-way increment.

  6. Hi Natwar.

    Yes 🙂 I think, I’ve to rethink over red flags.

  7. Hi Sudarsan

    That’s really a great piece of advice. Thank you.

  8. Hi Arpit

    You are right. I too believe that, as a fresher one shouldn’t think of “only” money for at least 2 years.

    Thanks for your point of view.

  9. Hi Rajat

    You’ve shared some very good points. I think it’s time to revisit our HR policies 🙂 Thanks.

  10. Hi Sunil

    I respect your opinion. However as Rajat mentioned, I also think, it’s not right to give in to anybody’s demands right away. It definitely sends the wrong message. Though, thanks for your point of view.

  11. THANK GOD YOU LET HIM GO. I would have asked him to vacate the office and not come back

  12. hey rajat,

    i’m very keen for you to write an article on good HR practices for startups. 

    i think a lot of folks will thank you for it!!

  13. You did a good thing. Only thing I would have done differently is to have a F2F and made this loud and clear that we do not encourage such practices.

    I just recently had a similar situation. Gave a decent hike to a senior employee, he was expecting more, I said sorry as per your performance this is the best we can give you. He started throwing up tantrums the same day and instead of our 2 months notice period (normally we relieve them before it) fired him the same day. There should be absolutely no compromise on Discipline and Work Culture.

  14. This is unfortunately the reality for all employers. It’s through trial and error that we actually find the right set of employees. I would say that you should be happy that you were able to get rid of such an employee whose only criteria for job evaluation is money. I always check resumes of people I am hiring. Regardless of skill and personality I refuse to hire people who have a tendency to jump every few months and even every year. And I make it a practice to let them know that this is the criteria basis which they are being rejected.

    If a majority of senior managers followed this practice I am sure the message would start getting around. Unfortunately till hiring managers don’t get choosy about the people they hire, this will keep happening. I am sure you will find the right candidate soon and will forget this incident.

  15. I agree with Sudarsan. We should have a chat and try to understand if anything other than salary caused this. If it is just salary, ask him to leave after serving the notice period otherwise no relieving


  16. I always believe that the attitude of a person at work is always more important than pure talent / merit.The email comes up as disrespectful and more like a threat.The decision on the other end was already made – since no one ask for a raise in 3 months.

    There was no mood to discuss from the tone of the letter.

    These things happen and will happen again and again.

    No point wasting time on such,

I would have just typed “all the best” ,
.No more.

  17. Alok.. As soon as I read the email, within a moment I got reminded of one of my favorite story you’ve written here https://www.therodinhoods.com/forum/topics/just-jump đŸ™‚ and decision was clear !!

    If someone wants to Jump, we just need to ask them to Jump or give them a Kick.

  18. Hi Nirav,

    You’re right. Such practices should never be encouraged. The email is just a good example of bad communication. Thanks for your inputs.

  19. Hi Ashutosh

    Yes. Hiring process definitely need some improvement. Thanks for sharing your views.

  20. Hi Chetan

    Yes it’s waste of time discussing things. Thanks for your views.

  21. So he was working because of some compulsion. Am sure such dont add any value to any company.

    Even if it wasn’t salary, the way this was communicated doesn’t put him in a good position that one can give a benefit of doubt. It’s good he is out.

  22. Yes, Nilesh. After 1.5+ years, I really constantly look for red flags and try to be as honest about it (with myself) as possible.

    This is usually an issue when we like someone and stop looking for them 🙂 But, I am sure we have been there..

    Best Wishes

  23. From your description on good communication skills, good at work etc, this mail looks like a one that was sent while he was drunk


  24. According to me, salary isn’t the only deciding factor for an employee. It is surely the most important though. Ive noticed attrition is lower if employees feel good at the workplace. It could be respect, camraderie, maybe the occasional lunch with employees. Everyone likes to belong, be wanted. It usually comes down to Only Money, when they dont have all that. Thats when they’ll take the next better salary offer.

    So apart from HR policies, over time, meetings etc, A boss should make a conscious effort to have a personal connect with their employees.

  25. 🙂

  26. Imran, email was sent in morning & consumption of alcohol is prohibited in Gujarat 🙂 So, I wouldn’t doubt. It’s just bad bad communication. 

  27. Hi Paawan

    You are absolutely right on this. Connecting people always helps. Thanks for your views. 

  28. You’re absolutely right Natwar 🙂

  29. It is important to set up some basic HR policies like min notice period and financial settlements with Exp letter post serving notice period.

    We should also make them realize how company suffers by such tactics. How would they react if the company gets a cheaper resource / aka employee and writes email to current employee that they better take lower salary for the company to continue with them else they will be fired. Would that be fair to the employees?

    Overall it is also about building the right culture of trust and openness that will not result into such situations!

  30. Hi Prashant

    You’re right. Building culture of Openness and Trust is a challenge for us. We already have good and simple HR policies to follow. Still things like this happens. The important point I see is a here bad communication. If things were communicated properly, outcome would be definitely different. Thanks for your valuable feedback.

  31. I’d always recommend meeting somebody for such decisions, even if it’s a 3 month old fresher.  Maybe they didn’t get the role they wanted, maybe there’s some personal matter that’s cropped up in the past month, maybe they just hate the way the company operates.  At least you get to know.  

    And emails usually veil intent.

    Furthermore, it’s tough with youngsters ; everyone wants to get rich quick, and focus on cash flow than the work they do.  

    Depending on the outcome, I’d also inform the HR of the company he’s joining about his attitude.

    If there are contractual obligations, you should enforce them.

  32. Yes Mahesh. It’s good to have meeting in person to get better understanding of other party intentions. Emails are not the right medium to express the motive. Thanks for your inputs.

  33. Hi Nilesh,

    Lot of inputs already :). 

    I faced a similar situation too. And the learning was this: 1. people react differently to different people and 2. employees connect with their companies at different levels viz. emotional, intellectual, economical.

    In my case, though the content of the message was same, I realized it was more of an emotional disconnect than monetary gap. It would have taken only a few words of emotional connect stating something like “hang on, you will do well” for me to retain that guy.

    Well, back then I had let him go and will surely let go of such an employee. However, will make sure that the culture (environ) of my company is such that it is hard to leave. Yes, people work for money, but that is not all! There is much more to explore.

    Srividhya

    Tweeting @srividhya15

  34. Hi Srividhya

    Yea.. Lots of good feedback so far & I’m sure, it’ll benefit to many 🙂 Thanks for sharing your experience and feedback. You’re right. We should not entertained rubbish, but definitely we should be trying to improve work culture. Thanks.

  35. That’s Gen z : accept it always keep a substitute to replace him the no.2 guy on the line, depends how pissed you are say F*** off to him in official language “it was pleasure working with you’ etc etc.
    design at least some basic hr policy of Notice period, salary pay out etc act ASAP and give to a next guy with appointment letter, so that you will be free of headache.

  36. Hi Ashwin

    That’s good suggestions 🙂 We’re working on revising our HR policies.

  37. I would have stopped him from entering the office the next day. Paid him his dues and wished him well.

  38. What I feel is that there is nothing right or wrong in this situation.Please understand everyone has their needs and no one is to be blamed when a person takes a materialistic decision.

    We have to understand the facts:

    •     A business which drives on people is week and one which drives on person is weaker

    •     A business becomes stronger by following a simple process oriented approach

    I am not saying everything has to be documented but where you see risk please have some  documentation atleast.

    There are enough things to worry about and people should not be one.Apart from your core team,you should have the others replaceable.

    There are many chances people with less experience to do this but you never know.

  39. Yes Alok.

  40. Yes Syed. You’re right. Well documented HR policy is must so that this kind of issue doesn’t happen in future.

  41. You should always project an attitude of, ‘an organisation is bigger than a individual’ hence it is ‘every body needs it but it doesn’t need any body’

    If you are the ceo and Hr manager same in one shoe , ‘Develop an art of PokerFace man’ it’s an essential quality in HR, in Aloks term ‘Yoda’ or ‘Mr. Monk’ : who dosent get moved by Joy or sorrow
    Meaning: whether you get a Best Developer in the industry or you loose him.
    Treat re recruitment like a conveyor belt where always a next cow(or donkey) is standing and waiting to be milked

  42. Yes Ashwin 🙂 Thanks for your inputs


  43. hey happy b’day nilesh!

    hope you were able to find someone more suitable 🙂

    more power to you and your team!

  44. Hi Asha

    Thank you for your wishes 🙂 

    Yea, we’ve right set of people in our team now. 

    ~ Nilesh

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