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The art of unsettling

By Divyanshu Asopa on 39 Comments / 4096 views

I am going to turn 25 soon and I still don’t have money, a decent car, a house of my own and above all, I am not married. I am not settled.

The best lesson my mother taught me was that of ‘To be a good human being’ which I adhere to, as much as I can. The most important thing (for her) that I didn’t listen to was to settle earlier in my life.

My relatives, friends and even my family has been narrating stories to me about people settling in their life. ‘Wo toh ab settle ho gaya’ is the new Indian Dream where the 27 year old guy is married to a pretty girl, living in a 1BHK Flat in Pune, Gurgaon or Bangalore and working in a cool MNC and doing a white collar job.

No offence. No hard feelings for friends who are settled.

But I don’t fit in this whole idea of settling down. I used to score a 96% in my 7th grade being a class topper. And suddenly, I couldn’t attend the next whole academic year because I was bed ridden. My score was a mere 63%.  God himself unsettled the whole goody-goody life and threw me down to a place where I had to struggle to even stand on my feet. That life threatening disease, which weakened my body like a jelly, was the best thing that ever happened to me in my life.

I understood the importance of each day as I lived, I understood the true sense of gratitude, and I understood what it means to have your family and friends around you in your tough time. I was unsettled for almost 3 years. Struggling to walk, run and even perform normal activities. But I enjoyed every day playing cricket with my brother, watching some of the most amazing movies, reading books and talking to people who inspired me to follow my dreams.

Time passed by and I got enrolled in a college just 1 km away from home. But I also had an option to go to one of the India’s best colleges, which was but, in a different state. I still couldn’t manage to walk perfectly and was very prone to tripping over while walking. The best possible option was to settle for the college in the vicinity and live a peaceful life for four years. But, I wanted to get rid of the zone where people sympathised. I wanted to leave that parental comfort zone and happily my parents too encouraged me to opt for the other college.  That was the second time I unsettled myself and took a decision which later proved to be really beneficial in the long run.

The 4 years span in college was when I actually did everything I could, without wasting even a single day. Getting my hand into something as controversial as politics to making a short music video or managing the cultural fest to starting my first company, I never settled for one single thing for more than six months. And in that course I made hundreds of mistakes, learnt thousands of things and experienced stuff that will help me throughout!

I got a job in a reputed consulting firm while I was running my own start up in the shittiest way I can imagine now. My parents were glad I managed this handsome package even after a rock bottom low score and sitting on the last bench for four years. May be this was the time to settle down considering even my start-up was on the verge of dying.

But the question was whether I actually wanted to do the job or not? But if not the job, then what??

That was the third time I opted to unsettle myself and it turned out to be one of the best decisions I took in my life. Idling around for a month, I got an offer from another company to work with them as a partner. At the age of 23 I successfully handled a project worth Rs 40 crores for over a period of 8 months and built a team of 30 people right from the scratch. I learnt to negotiate with people and learnt how to work on your ass day and night out.

One fine day I had to quit the project. The first option was to stay there and compromise on my values where people were less important than money and the second was to leave the project. I left. And I am still proud of that decision.

Since that fortunate day I am running a magazine and recently started a greeting cards portal. Shifted from a small city to the city where people say “dreams come true”, where people are running a marathon 24/7 and the city which never sleeps, Bombay.

I have not made enough money to preach about something or propose a theory but I am certainly happy with my life and proud of the decisions I have made, the decision to unsettle the regular flow of things just so that I can explore everything life has to offer me.

Life is like a railway track and it is up to you how you wish to travel. Do you want to be sitting in the comfortable AC coach , wondering how amazing would those green mountains be, how cool would that river water be? Or would you want to make an abrupt jump out of the train and leave all your baggage behind so that you could start walking bare feet to experience the lush green grass under your feet, the cool breeze brushing across your face and admire that big mountain which always remained unexplored?

Keep unsettling. It’s more fun!

 

P.S  Apart from making people smile through our articles we also make some really beautiful paper greeting cards. Do check our collection on www.21fools.com/store Would love to have your feedback.

The Article was originally written for https://21fools.com

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39 Comments

  1. divyanshu…

    you might as well tell me your tee shirt size. sooner or later you’re gonna get one!

    p.s: every time you write something, you unsettle me…

    🙂

  2. Beautiful post Divyanshu.. really connected with what you wrote 🙂

  3. I have visited your online cards store. And it’s very cool… cooler is your attitude and you might end up being the coolest entrepreneur with that level of thinking! So keep unsettling stuffs for yourself to keep going… a nice post indeed!

  4. I love your honesty Divyanshu…rock on.

    Here’s a quote I keep sharing with people, captures the essence of your post…
    “Most people choose to be unhappy rather than uncertain” – Tim Ferris

  5. Nicely put. Clarity of thoughts leads to great power….to do things.

  6. Lovely quote!

  7. Great decision! Similar in a way, goes with me. During my final year @ IIT Kharagpur, I has 3 jobs in hand from big MNCs, but then I decided to work with a startup but soon after 4-5 months, i decided not to go anywhere, even though my family and relatives were forcing me to go for IAS but still, I heard of my own, and started my own startup, and find more satisfactory than any Job, even though i do not have much money with me, but still I am happy what I am doing. 

    Currently, I have four member team with me. https://www.fullerenesolutions.com

    Let me know your valuable feedback. 

  8. Beautifully written, Divyanshu. A very honest article. Stuff like this act as a catalyst for every entrepreneurs. Respect.

  9. Brilliant life story. Inspiring. Your portal looks cool. All the best! 

  10. Divyansh, ‘Respect’.

  11. Superb stuff…..will surely make people unsettle….

  12. Awe-inspiring, definitely will be inkjet a dose of anxiety to many!!

  13. Awesome post! The timing of this post couldn’t be better for me. I can relate to you so much. Trying to unsettle 🙂

    Respect.

  14. Ma’am, Its always good to share my write ups with the Rodinhoods. The kind of feedback I get here is such an amazing experience. always makes up my day 🙂

    And thanks again for your kind words! 🙂 🙂

    My tee size is L 😛

  15. You have always been so encouraging 🙂

    Thanks for reading. Will start work on your cards very soon!

  16. Such comments keep you going even during the tough phase 🙂

    Thanks a lot for reading and your kind words!!!

  17. Amazing quote! Thanks for sharing 🙂 Will make a small digital poster using it and will surely share with you…

    And Thanks for reading the post!

  18. Thank you so much, sir! 🙂

  19. Well done Layak! And Thanks a lot for sharing your story.. Keep the awesomeness going 🙂

    Will get in touch with you!

  20. Jaseem, I have not achieved anything till now to get that word ‘Respect’. Let me work more hard to earn it 🙂

    Thanks a lot for reading it!!!

  21. Thanks a lot, sir!

  22. Thanks a lot for appreciating sir 🙂 

    But I have to still work hard to get that kind of appreciation. Give me some time 🙂

  23. I hope it do 🙂

  24. If that happens then that will be simply amazing!

  25. Thank you so much for reading 🙂 And don’t think too much for it. Just Jump!

  26. Thanks Divyanshu! 

    Wish you all the best too. I like your way.

    I also got inspired from you 🙂 Keep up good work.

  27. great one…will be contacting you soon….btw i have recently unsettled

  28. Loved your article. Reminds me of  a quote  – Everything you want is just outside your comfort zone.
    Yes , ability to unsettle oneself every time you  have reached a comfort zone is a unique trait. And after every cycle of settling and unsettling, you reach a new threshold in life , making it an awesome journey.

  29. hey div, i’m gonna be 29 this oct and i’ve challenged my mom that she wont see me settled. i’ve always deeply felt life is more than  degree plus job plus wife plus kids. i sometimes get a thought i would die alone but i also get a naughty thought i would marry at 60 to a 18 yr old gal (considering i’ve always been good at manipulating gals) but even then its all just illusion. And may b even if i would not achieve any success in life, it does not relate to settle or unsettle bcoz thats what i am. 

  30. Interesting reading – and so happy to see you have learnt so much so early in the life.

    Also believe me – Time Change….Things change…experience grows…idealism changes… people change.

    Being Entrepreuner is a way of life…live it at fulles…cheers

  31. Loved your article… I am not the kind of person who writes comments but couldn’t resist myself from writing one here. Word-Unsettle has given me a new meaning. I am a kind of person who is full of ideas and keep sharing it with my close friends. But they call me as confused. However, I feel I am creative. After reading this article I can say, my brain is asking me to unsettle and move out from my comfort zone. I still have to figure out, what , how and with whom. But I hope your next post will answer my questions… Keep up the great work!

  32. We’re punchin for the skies my friend.  And you are one of the lights that lead the way.  The sky is never still, always changing.  🙂

  33. Hey Divyanshu Asopa,

    Thanks for the sharing your life experience. I loved  this. And apart from this the thing that i loved the most is your site 21fools.

    Great work. Keep it up..

    Good Day

    Arjunsinh

  34. Of you have done all this at 25, then all I can do is SALUTE YOU boss.

    The lesson is to try and make things work, but when life throws you off gear, you get up and try your best again.

  35. Well I will be 26 tomorrow.. Praise from you will keep me on my toes 🙂 Thank you!

  36. Quite a poetic post with a title to match. Explore, experience & let the free spirit soar. Carpe Diem! 

  37. The art of Unsettling… OMG.. I got very much connected to this post. Not only me, any aspiring entrepreneur can relate to this post. You have seriously inspired all of us. Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful story. Your narration is also too good.

    And I also checked your portal. The designs too good.  

  38. I like this attitude of living on the edge! Well done! 

    I believe in “Never compromising one’s value system.” It’s good to walk out, than live one more moment in a ‘wrong’ setup. 

    You will surely do better as time progresses. More importantly, you will be at peace with yourself. 

  39. I am still thinking about the article and trying to recall the similar conversation I had with my dad. He wanted to know when I am planning to settle down in my life and I said I am loving this unsettled flow and would like to stick with this for some time.

    Thanks a lot for reminding that spirit. 😀

    Cheers 

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